


Merlin and Gwaine Go to a Strip Club

by a_fuck_it_kind_of_lifestyle



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Arthur/Gwen - Freeform, Bachelor Party, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, bi!gwaine, gay!merlin, merwaine - Freeform, strip club
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-20
Updated: 2018-08-20
Packaged: 2019-06-30 07:46:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15747387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_fuck_it_kind_of_lifestyle/pseuds/a_fuck_it_kind_of_lifestyle
Summary: Merlin and Gwaine test out a strip club as the venue for Arthur's bachelor party. Of course, Merlin's gay, so the strippers don't do much for him. Gwaine, the other hand? Yeah. And tonight's the night it all comes out.





	Merlin and Gwaine Go to a Strip Club

“I don’t see why we have to do this!”

Gwaine laughed, practically dragging Merlin across the parking lot by the arm to where the bright neon lights showed a blinking neon lady dancing by what Merlin assumed what was supposed to be a pole, but what looked like a giant dick. Maybe that was also on purpose. 

We have to test out the venue before the stag night, Merlin. It’s the only way to be thorough.” He grabbed Merlin’s face with both hands, pulling him in close to show how serious he was. Merlin’s breath hitched, very aware that he was within three inches of Gwaine’s face. And his lips. He could feel the heat rising in his face, and he stepped away quickly, clearing his throat and attempting to look up at the strip club normally.

“Okay, correction: I don’t see why I have to do this.” 

Gwaine was following him now. Less likely to see the blush on Merlin’s cheeks. Thank god. “You’re the best man, Merlin.”

Merlin wrinkled his nose. “I’ve done a lot for Arthur over the years. But this?” 

Gwaine laughed again. “Tell you what, next weekend we’ll go to a guy’s strip club and get some dick back in your life.” Merlin grinned. “And if tonight is really that terrible, I’ll strip for you personally.” He hopped in front of Merlin, shaking his butt like some raucous chicken dance. Merlin tried to laugh at him, but the sound came out more strangled than he hoped it would. His mind was wrapped up in the idea of Gwaine stripping in front of him, shirtless, sweaty, giving him a lap dance. 

Dead puppies dead puppies dead puppies. It wouldn’t help his case to go in the club with a boner. 

Still, he had to go in eventually. He trailed Gwaine closely as he sauntered in the front door, giving a friendly nod and wave to the doorman. Gwaine had this peculiarly charming way of treating everyone like he was old friends with them, even though Merlin was positive he’d never set foot in the place before.

From the second Merlin crossed into the darkened club, he felt uncomfortable. Men old and young lounged around tables and stages, most holding dollar bills in one hand and beers in the other, all with the same mildly creepy appreciative stare as they watched the performers. Strippers wandered among the customers, tempting men with a lap dance with a sly smile and a wink. He had the absurd thought that he wanted to hang a sign around his neck saying something like “Please don’t pretend to flirt with me, I’m gay.”

He realized Gwaine had strode on ahead of him, and he hurried to follow, eyes pointed to the ground. He didn’t really have the money to waste on strippers, especially ones he wasn’t interested in.

“See, Merlin? Easy as pie.” Gwaine picked a table for them and started to look around. He motioned for a waitress to grab them beers, and when they came, Merlin grabbed his quickly, grateful to have something to focus on rather than the naked women around him or the tragically clothed man he’d come with. 

“Hi, Handsome, who might you be?” A woman appeared at Gwaine’s shoulder, trailing a finger along his arm. Gwaine looked up at her with a friendly smile, but Merlin couldn’t help but notice the way his eyes took their time traveling up her body to her eyes. He tried to convince himself the twist in his gut wasn’t jealousy. 

“The name’s Gwaine. This is Merlin.” The woman turned to Merlin, smiling wider when Merlin simply nodded at her, his hands still clamped around his beer. She mistook his nonchalance as nervousness approached him. She stuck a manicured hand out and forced him to look at her by touching a finger under his chin. 

“Hi, Merlin. I’m Mithian, and I’m going to be taking really good care of you tonight, alright?” She leaned her chest toward him, shimmying a little to really nail in the point. 

Merlin tried to telapathically tell her ‘no thank you’ but it didn’t seem to get across. Instead, he opted for, “I think you’d better start with Gwaine.” He instantly winced, but Gwaine just laughed and Mithian didn’t seem to take offense. She simply turned back to Gwaine, who offered her a bill. 

Watching a topless girl give Gwaine a lap dance was not something he’d ever thought he’d do, but Merlin found himself being strangely turned on and jealous at once. He could hear Gwaine talking casually as he watched Mithian’s hips dip lower and lower over him, though from a quick glance at Gwaine’s lap that made him sputter on the gulp of beer in his mouth, he was more than casually interested in the dance itself. Merlin found himself with a matching boner within seconds.

“We’re checking the place out for a friend’s stag night. Merlin here’s the best man and, well, I’m the best partier.” 

Mithian nodded. “A lot of guys have their stag nights here.” She flipped around to give Gwaine a front view. Like a gentleman, Merlin noted, Gwaine looked her in the eyes while he talked.

“You’d recommend the place, then?”

“That depends.” Mithian smirked. “Do you tip well?”

That made Gwaine throw back his head and laugh. Merlin himself cracked a grin. He was starting to like Mithian, though he did feel a ridiculous twinge of regret that he was not the person who’d made Gwaine laugh like that. Merlin pulled his gaze away from Gwaine, hoping he hadn’t been staring, and caught Mithian’s eye. She threw a quick glance to Merlin’s lap and gave him a wink, though she returned to dancing so quickly Merlin half convinced himself he made it up.

Merlin didn’t pay attention to the rest of their conversation, mostly because he couldn’t hear it over the thumpa thumpa of a new song, but he vaguely watched the way the corners of Gwaine’s mouth tugged up fondly as he spoke. The song ended shortly and Gwaine refused another dance, making some saucy comment Merlin couldn’t hear that made Mithian blush in spite of herself. Another one of Gwaine’s talents: he could seduce anyone, even someone who was hit on every day of work like Mithian. 

Gwaine and Merlin turned their attention to the stage, where a leather-clad dancer swung around the pole in six inch heels. Though they briefly agreed on how nice Mithian had been, Merlin was sure they were both trying to get their pants to lie flat again. 

“You know, if you want him, you just have to say so.” Merlin almost jumped out of his skin. Mithian was bending down behind him, her lips an inch from his ear so he could hear her over the music.

“What do you- what do you mean?” 

Mithian shook her head. “Please. I’ve been in this business for a while, Merlin, I know what desire looks like. You want him.” She gave a minuscule jerk of her head toward Gwaine, who was still concentrated on the stage.

Merlin couldn’t believe he was having this conversation. “It’s more than that-” He protested.

“You love him.” Mithian smiled wider. “Even better.”

“How is that better?!” 

Mithian glanced up at Gwaine. “I know what desire looks like.”

Then she was gone, swaying toward another customer with more grace than Merlin had ever had in his life. “Alright Merlin, what do you say we get out of here?” Gwaine stood up lazily, patting Merlin on the shoulder. 

Merlin furrowed his eyebrows, looking at his watch. “But it’s still early,” 

Gwaine shrugged and left a hefty tip for the waiter. Merlin would never understand how he managed to go out so much and still tip well with his crappy job. “I’m sold on this place. You?”

Merlin gave the place a last cursory glance. “Sure. Where are we going?”

A bar was the answer, of course. They sat at the bar, Merlin sipping a hard cider and Gwaine a frilly sex on the beach (his taste in alcohol ranged from straight vodka to the fruitiest and sweetest cocktails). They settled comfortably, Gwaine leaning back in his chair, not taking his eyes off Merlin. 

“So what were you talking to Mithian about, Merlin?” His voice was casual and curious, but Merlin’s face instantly started to heat up. 

“Oh, nothing, we were just… talking about the party.” 

Gwaine shifted, still not satisfied. He was in interrogation mode, Merlin could tell. “The party, really? It looked like she was urging you to do something.”

Merlin hesitated, holding eye contact with Gwaine. I know what desire looks like, Mithian had said. Could she possibly have meant…?

Merlin took a deep breath and downed the rest of his scotch. “Well, the truth is, Gwaine, I… want you.”

Gwaine did a double take, blinking. “You…” 

“I have feelings for you. And I know that it could do terrible things to our friendship, but… I want you.” Merlin felt a wave of relief wash over him. He’d said it. It was immediately shattered when he saw the mischevious grin on Gwaine’s face.

“Finally!” he scooted out of his seat and grabbed Merlin by the arm, pulling him abruptly out the door.

“Gwaine, what-”

“It took you long enough!” Gwaine continued on his rant like he’d never stopped, pushing Merlin up against the brick wall. 

Merlin sputtered. “Long enough? For wh-” 

“I have been wanting to jump your bones since the moment I laid eyes on you, Merlin. I didn’t exactly try to hide it.” His grin widened as he pressed his body fully against Merlin, his hands on either side of Merlin’s head on the wall as he kissed him. When he pulled away, he noticed Merlin’s look of shock for the first time. “Are you telling me you seriously didn’t know?” 

Merlin shook his head slowly, incredulous joy running around his head. Gwaine put his head back and laughed, tugging Merlin away again and pushing him in the direction of his motorcycle. “You’ve been spending too much time around Arthur, Merlin,”

Merlin laughed, putting his helmet on. “How do you figure?” 

Gwaine pulled Merlin in for another kiss before answering. “He’s an oblivious idiot. Apparently, it rubbed off. Now come on, loverboy, let’s go home.” He waggled his eyebrows and Merlin swore, if he wasn’t head over heels in love with the man, he would’ve hit him. As it was, he just climbed on the back of the motorcycle and held on.


End file.
